05072005 changes

wow, it's almost been a year since I last updated. Not that things haven't been happening. In fact, a lot has changed, and more will come. I ORD'ed on 15th June 2005 & will be flying off to the land of cowboys and beautiful texas girls (so I hear) on August 5th.
Been travelling a lot recently, to Hong Kong in January, then to Taiwan in April, London, Bruxelles, Amsterdam & Paris in June, and I just came back from Bangkok yesterday. I love travelling, partially because of the lack of government (translate to hokkien) when I travel with my friends. In Thailand I was like a KinG. A meal that would cost 15-20$ in Singapore only costs <3$ there. I bought a T-shirt for like $1.50, and a polo tee for $2. Like wth, i was in heaven. My hundred dollars here become five hundred there. woohoo. did i mention i brought a thousand? ahahaha. but of course i didn't finish it. mad.
Let's see.. they're fish balls are the best in the world. chilli sauce also. pineapple fried rice. bat phong.
wee hee.
And that's for another place another time.

20102004 security guard...

Wah, very long never update liao... i wanna post some pictures here, but its too much trouble~ had fun in taiwan, and now its back to a dreary existence.. well, almost. SAT II is coming up on november 6th, and i'm drowning in a perpetual guilt for not studying hard enough. Not that i'm not studying. it's just that the mental blocks come much faster than before, and i take much longer to do stuff. but at least i try =) i'm going for a chemical defence course tomorrow, then on monday, i'll no longer be in the underwater demolition team. i'll be posting out to headquarters for awhile to be a security guard. FULLTIME. *blah* at least i'm a highly paid security guard (highly paid in the SAF sense)

30092004

some people were just made for you to love.

so what happens when that person you love is loved even more by someone else? its just so hard to let go of something or someone u've given ur heart and soul to for 2 of the most important years of your life. at that point, grades, cca, family and even life itself lost all its meaning. but after 2 years of it you realise you've been neglecting alot of other things and you start to regain your life, and naturally the fire extinguishes and dies a natural death. but only for a short while, and things change in this short while. erm, kinda lost in incoherent thoughts now. but, somethings are only brought out when you read heart felt words from a person who was once your other half. or when you see that person.

maybe i'm just jealous that i never got the attention i wanted and he did.

25092004 In taiwan

Somehow life here isn't as dreary as the previous time when i was still with uni. I have to admit, missing that someone in life isn't as bad as it turns out to be. true, it gets lonely at times, but then again, i'm still young. aiyah, oei changrs, i'll keep u to ur promise, even though i think it'll be kinda weird at first. owell who noes.

17092004 Sealight.

Just a few hours before i fly off to Taiwan. Brunei was an easy day compared to Hellweek, but i'm sure the air force fellars will disagree haha. but enough of that, i made a pact with myself, and i will try my best to keep it. there was kp, ruisheng, mark, me, and now clarence. haha some sort of army curse perhaps. oh well... this is one of the times when i'm super unprepared... but aiyah, who cares... i shall go there to enjoy myself and stop thinking about unnecessary stuff~ It doesn't matter if the world crumbles around me as long as i make the best of it. I think only 1 or 2 people read this blog lar, so... its more like a half-diary.

31082004 pre-JST

And its just half a day more before i fly off to Brunei for JST, go figure. I feel superbly unprepared, mostly cause i've learnt to take army life with less stress nowadays. Somehow there's no need to do a check and a recheck and a rerecheck on all my equipment anymore. Somehow, there's no need to wake at all the right times and ensure everyone's doing the right thing all the time anymore. But as much as i'd like to dump all the work away, i still keep many responsibilities, perhaps subconsciously.
Just watched 36 episodes of yi tian tu long ji... i bought the DVDs =) wooohooo... i watched all the way from last night 11+ till today 2+ and going to continue in a moment.

21082004 casual liaisons.

And he intends to revert back to courting casual liaisons thereafter. Why do people pursue things that don't satisfy? Why are they content being entrapped in their cycles of illusion?
Sometimes this endless cycles of illusion bring a short sense of joy to the lost. And this short-lived joy is enough for him to carry on living. Like druggies, who know they are ruining their lives by taking drugs, but still carry on nonetheless because that's all they have to live for. Perhaps something has occurred in their lives that has made them lose hope, or perhaps it is just an excuse they use to cover up their insecurity. Their need for someone to care for and to be cared for.